Dynamics of Marriage and Family

Dynamics of Marriage and Family 3(3+0)

Lesson 9 :Identifying Characteristics of Readiness for Marriage

Identifying Characteristics of an Individual Mature for Marriage

• Bhaviours which imply that an individual is ready for marriage are as follows:
• Is cooperative and does not dominate others. He doesn’t have jealousy and isnot easily hurt.
• Is adaptable and is able to adjust to differences or to changes which life brings.
• Has a fairly clear idea of what kind of a person he is and hopes to be. He knows about his own philosophy of life and where he is going. He is realistic about what he can expect from life and what he must give in return. He does not live in a "dream world."
• Disciplines himself to meet responsibilities and obligations to others. He is generous in his judgments of others and gives them the benefit of the doubt.
• Is capable of using good judgment in earning and spending money and can plan his finances and stick to the plan.
• Able to use past experiences as a means of growth and establish more or less habitual policies that enable them to cope with emergencies and crises and meet problems constructively. Mature people are reasonably cautious about making decisions and do not make major choices on impulse, or act first and think later or turn to unhealthy or destructive escapes when under pressure.
• Have an understanding of human personality, motivations and how it functions. They recognize types of behavior in themselves and others in relation to inner motivations. They see heavy drinking, use of drugs, certain physical illnesses, moodiness or clinging dependence as means sometimes used to escape from problems in life.
• Profit by what they have been taught at home, but are able to think independently for themselves. If at one time while growing up they threw overboard much of what they had been taught, they are now past the stage of immature rebellion against authority and have integrated their ideas based on life experiences with attitudes de­rived from experiences.
• Mature individuals accept responsibility for their own mistakes. They have grown beyond blaming others for their own weaknesses and refusing to recognize their own faults. When they make a mistake, they accept their actions and try to learn from the experiences.
• Have outgrown immature and negative sex attitudes. They appreciate sexuality as a positive force in personality, and sexual impulses and responses as a wholesome expression of love between two married people.
• Recognize their wants, but can also look ahead and make choice. They do not deny their desires and wants, but are willing to plan and to wait and, if necessary, to make sacrifices today in order to carry out plans that they have decidedmean greater overall satisfaction in the future.
• Appreciate that much of life consists of exchanges and sacrifices. On the far deeper level of marriage relationships people give of themselves that is they overcome selfishness and self-centeredness and sacrifice their own preferences for the sake of each other.
• Are able to understand and accept authoritythat is mature men understand that having God-given responsibility of being husband is a solemn responsibility and not an ego trip and mature ladies are secure enough about their own worth to realize that accepting authority doesn’t make one inferior.
• Are able to seek companion’s happiness as diligently as they seek their own. Mature individuals not only strive for attaining their happiness but also of their spouses.
• Have the capacity to live up to commitments involved in marriage. A mature person has the capacity to fulfil his marriage commitments until the hardship is over, or even if it is never over.