Dynamics of Marriage and Family

Dynamics of Marriage and Family 3(3+0)

Lesson 10 & 11 : Theories on Mate Selection

Sequential Theories

There are certain theories which attempted to combine or place in sequence several factors which play a very important role in mate selection. Three such theories are as follows

1. Filter Theory: This theory, advanced by Kerkhoff and Davis (1962), holds that mate selection is not just a matter of marrying of "likes" in social back­ground (homogamy), nor of the marrying of "unlikes" in personality needs (heterogamy). Rather, social background, group memberships, values and interests, and complementary personality needs may all come into play at various stages of a given courtship from its beginning to the ultimate marriage. The filter theory points to a sequence or series of screening or filtering processes which operate in courtship and mate selection. In the initial stage, such factors as race, religion, and social class have normally re­stricted the field of eligible. At this early stage, courtship involves doing enjoyable things together. Many relationships do not survive this stage, since the enjoyment can wear off. Those relationships which do survive this early and often idealized stage may lead to the discovery of shared; compatible values. Deepening involvement may now entail complemen­tary personality needs and their satisfaction. Thus in the later stages of courtship a much stronger personality-based bond develops, which can lead to marriage.


2. The process approach to mate selection: Advocates of this sequential approach argue that mate selection is not merely a function of values, interests, needs, and the social backgrounds of the couple. Rather, the actual selection of a mate is a developmental process during which increasing commitment pushes the couple toward marriage. This process approach to mate selection does not ignore social back­grounds or personality factors. It does attempt, however, to put such factors in the context of the developing relationship of a courting couple, as the relationship gathers momentum and escalates toward a final com­mitment to marry.


3. Stimulus-Value-Role theory (SVR Theory): Murstein (1970) explained mate selection as a three-stage sequence involving stimulus value-roles (SVR). He believes that in an essentially free-choice society most couples pass through these three stages before coming to the final decision to marry.
• The stimulus stage:Initially a man may be attracted to a woman (or vice versa) because of his perception of her personality or her physical or social attributes, and also his perception of his own qualities that might be attractive to the other person. If there is sufficient mutual stimulus attraction between the man and the woman they then enter the second stage of "value comparison."
• The value comparison stage:Unlike the "stimulus" stage in which attributes of the partner are evaluated without any necessary interpersonal contact, the value comparison stage involves the appraisal of value compatibility through verbal interaction. Increasing interaction permits more continuous and closer scrutiny of physical appearance and other factors, such as temperament, and ability to relate to others.
• The role compatibility stage: Here the couple begins to test their role compatibility in areas of life relevant to marriage. The couple's relationship ripens; the members increasingly confide in each other and, thus, become aware of a broader range of each other's behavior than before. They may also become more cognizant of what they desire in a future spouse, and more consciously compare their expecta­tions with their perception of the partner. The mutual "role fit" is mutually rewarding, and the desire to continue this highly satisfying relationship can lead to a decision to get married.